Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

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why are anti jokes so funny? cuz u pobably just laughed at this one.

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Alchohol.

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DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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