Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Seriosly. too much sex again?

A man was walking home when a little boy ran up to him. He said "hey mister, how do you sleep apples?" Then the man wasn't sure why he asked him so he spelled it out for him "that's easy my boy, A-P-P-L-E" the little boy said "you said pee pee!" Then he laughed and ran off

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

What's the opposite of white? Black. You're racist. You fapped.

Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

Your mom.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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