Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

what do you get if you cross a scotsman , who knows nothing about football and a indian? Blackburn rovers, and a good night out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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