Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the Jew escape the concentration camp?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops