A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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your so fat. your fat!

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Why? Why not?

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops