Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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