Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Whats funny? Your face.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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A Vietnam war veteran accidentally goes to a Vietnamese concert and says, "I could take a lot of them down with me."

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A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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A duck walks into a bar. A horse walks into a bar. A cow walks into a bar. A bear walks into a bar. The owner tells them to get out, but they can't understand humans. So they just stayed there.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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A Christian asks god why there is so much pain and grief in the world. God does not exist.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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