Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops