Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Nothing, they're extinct.

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whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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A blonde, a brunnette, and a red head all jump from the top of a building. They all land at the same time because of Newton's 3rd Law

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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Q: Why was the man wet? A: I push him in a pool.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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