A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Why did the money due? Because it fell out of the tree

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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PENIS

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops