A man said lol, I said lol back. Then he started to beat me up for repeating his phrase!

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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How do you cure cancer? do i look like NASA?

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Q: What happens if you pee on a rock and scraches it on a tree? A: The tree gets wet

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What do you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him to the vet and have him put to sleep, it's the only humane thing to do.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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