In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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Q: Why shouldn't you throw rocks at a black guy on a bike? A: Because he could sustain serious injury if a rock hits him in the head, not to mention it is extremely rude.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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What did the girl say in her French lesson? Miss, I don't get it, its in a different language.

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why did no one like Ashley? because she was a bitch!

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matt is fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause Magic Johnson has AIDS

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops