A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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