Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Connor is homosexuaI

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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