LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How high is the sky? True or False

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Why did the Elf stab the Gnome? Because I was on a bad acid trip.

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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