Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

Are you made out of silicon, because you are silly and your name is Con.

What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

Romeo and Juliet both die at the end of the book. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA i just screwed you guys over.

two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

What's black white and red all over? Steegers.

how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

What did the African get for dinner? Ebola Rice

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

What happened when the white man went to Nigiria? He turned gray.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

why am I writing this...im bored

why did tommy cry?his mother killed his turtle on christmas

if life hands u melons, make melonade.

How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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