What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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What is worse than Jerry Sanduski? Nothing

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops