What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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I know 7 facts about you: 1. You're reading this. 2. You hate this overused shit. 3. You may think I will skip a number. 5. And you hate me much more. 6. You have seen porn. 7. You want me to kill myself. I am just gonna go suicide.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? - 2 Whats worse than 2 bee stings? - Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? - 3 bee stings Now, if you are smart, you would notice that no one really alive today was in the Holocaust, therefore you can not make an accurate comparison between bee stings and the millions of Jews being killed. -SPG

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

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Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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