The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

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Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

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How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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