Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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You were born.

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Well this is pointless.....

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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