I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into another apple and finding the other half

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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what do German people eat at BBQ ' s ? burgers and hotdogs and kebabs and fried chicken with a garnish of summer salad washed down with a cold mouth tingling glass of coca cola and jews

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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1+2 = 6

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how many poeple does it take to change a light bulb? you spelled people wrong.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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knock knock who`s there me oh come in

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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