Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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roses are black your mamas white i didnt mean to say it but it's right

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Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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Tony Romo

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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