whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the baby fall off the swing? Because i hit it with a bat.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops