What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Two chinese friends are chatting, and one says ????????? His friend says ??????? After that, the first one says ???????????, and you keep reading this like if you understood chinese.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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wenis

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops