oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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I was gonna clean my room. But then my mom did it.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Q:Wats worse then cutting ur lawn A: diarea on a sunday morning

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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