A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Why did the Mexican jump of the roof? Because he had a serious meth addiction that was destroying his family and he could not live with the awful things he did to get his fix.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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whats sad about 4 black guy drivein off a cliff in a cadalic a wast of good cadalic

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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