Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

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Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

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What can fly, but is always under you? A flying worm.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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I love animals . But the ASPCA soon put a stop to that .

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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AND

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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