What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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What do you call a over weight woman? Fat bitch.

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Wihat's red, green, and goes 100 miles an hour? A frog in a blender!!!!!

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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