What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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