A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone? Nothing

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Q. What did the monkey say to his little brother? A. Nothing. Monkeys are physically incapable of speaking, therefore it is impossible for them to communicate using the human language.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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