Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +18

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops