How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Whats funny? Your face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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What do you call a joke book without a title? A joke book!!!!

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Probably nothing as the social economy of the black race has been low in 2011 and hasn't raised by a penny in 2012.

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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Why wasn't the Asian at work? Because the sweat shop was closed on Sundays...

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who do we all like george goodburn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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