What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

So, this joke isn't funny.

This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

i like turtles

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

Women's rights.

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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