Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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