why did the little boy start to cry? because his parents didn't love him

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Neither does the chicken. (you're supposed to laugh...)

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Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "I'm Japanese". The guy at the counter says "What a coincidence! I am Japanese too." He gets seated and the guy next to him says, "I'm Japanese too." The bar is in Japan.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops