What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know; I was too busy masturbating.

If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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