A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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rarw

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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