Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Once upon a time there was a tree. But it was just a tree, so it sat there. Then it didn't rain for a while, so the tree died. And nothing ever grew there again. The End

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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