Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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hi penis ham telephone

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Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim in already in america.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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I'm HIV positive.

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How do you drown a blonde? Same as anyone else. Tie three-hundred cinder blocks to her and drop her into a lake.

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A man walks into himself. He is revealed.

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My spelling is horrible

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Knock knock! Who's there? Bob Hi bob, come inside. And next time just use the doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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