What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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800000000000000000?0?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000?0000 I hate you

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Whats worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two busses.

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops