why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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What's the difference between a black cat and a black cat? Nothing.

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Why did my bed broke? Becaus i had sex with your mom!

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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