How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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Why did the boy eat the hedgehog? Because it made his mouth bleed,

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Guest what in the butt

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A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's the best thing about 23 year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean????? What Nothing they just waved ???? Oh Do you sea what I did there ???? No I'm shore you did ???? By Erin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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