Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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A man walks into a bar. The other patrons suddenly start to run away screaming, because he had just been hit by a bus.

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If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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Simon says, "I'll give you a five second head start before I mow you down with my AK47."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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Knock Knock? Come in.

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wanna hear a joke womens rights

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops