An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there? your destiny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops