how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because, unfortunately, he is blind, prohibiting him from reading anything other than brail. He is, however, an excellent musician.

"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

homosexual rights to marriage

why is this joke funny because your laughing

How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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