How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Your mother's so fat.....When she gets on the scale, it tells her how much she weighs

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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