Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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What do you call a fake noodle An impasta

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A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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I enjoy Popcorn

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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