a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

Good job, son.

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

Why was 7 afraid of 6? It saw what 6 and 9 do when they're together.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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