When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Dwight Howard

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A man died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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what is brown and sticky? a stick.

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops