What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Dandelions are yellow

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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knock knock whos there? nobody

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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