What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

What long black and tasty? Licorice

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

who is gay wit mon james cornish

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

I don't get it

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

What do you call a black man in the south? An example of diverse America

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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