Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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