What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

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What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops