What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

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What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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What do you call a concentration camp with a mental disability? Auschwistic.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops