Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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I baked a pie once. Guess what flavor it was. PIE FLAVOR!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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What did Thisara say? You cant see me bich

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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