Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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Cancer. Super Cancer.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops